


Project: Sorry We Fucked Up

by Lacy_Star



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Chloe is trying her best, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Swearing, ansgt, they all are, wheelchair jake
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 08:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15837633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacy_Star/pseuds/Lacy_Star
Summary: “‘Hey,’ Chloe began her suggestion, ‘we should start like a club where we reform ourselves into non-assholes.’”After the squipcident, Chloe is realizing that she’s kinda been an asshole to a lot of people. Jake, Rich, and Jenna have similar realizations. Group bonding, lots of hugs, and tons of apologizing ensues.





	Project: Sorry We Fucked Up

**Author's Note:**

> This was yet another one shot that got too long. So now it’s multi-chapter! Whoo!

There was something kinda scary about realizing how much of a bitch you are.

After the “squip,” which Chloe was still hesitant to believe happened at all, she felt like she understood people better. Just having been connected to other people... she understood all the stress they were under already, and that was without the worry of the gossip she was spreading. She was also acutely aware of how much her snide comments hurt others.

But it went deeper than all of that. She didn’t know how. She was perplexed as to why she was suddenly feeling these things. She didn’t know what was going on. But Chloe did know she had to try and fix it.

Which she hated. But she was gonna feel guilty if she didn’t. And Chloe didn’t like... feeling... things like that.

Where to start...

***

_“Are your legs ok?”_

That’s what Chloe ended up going with. She’d written out several post it notes prior, all failing miserably to approach the subject. It wasn’t like she could just write “sorry for being a manipulative girlfriend” and call it fixed.

She looked down at the blue cursive she’d jutted down. She considered adding a heart. Like, a friendly heart. Not a “let’s get back together” heart. She didn’t add it.

Chloe folded the bright pink post-it into a paper crane and, when the social studies teacher wasn’t looking, sailed it over to Jake’s desk before she could change her mind.

She saw him struggle to get it open, tearing the paper a bit in the process. He read it, and looked over to her. She scribbled her pen on the desk and pretended to be working.

A moment later, a crumpled ball of ripped loose leaf paper landed on her desk. She fumbled with it. Why were her hands shaking?

_“wat do u want now?”_

Peeling another post-it from the stack, she grimaced. Why couldn’t this just instantly go easy for her.

_“Nothing... are you ok or not?”_

She scribbled that out.

_“I’m just asking. I don’t want anything.”_

This one was not folded into a crane. She wasn’t putting in that much effort for every note, because at this rate, this was gonna take a while. As she threw this one over, a nervousness similar to waiting for the microwave to beep settled in her.

The return note hit her in the face. Don’t lose your shit Chloe. We’re trying to make progress.

_“yea u do. u only get nice when u want smth”_

Excuse her? She could be nice other times. She was nice! The fact she was trying to do this proved that she was nice.

Crumpling the note in her hand, she imagined it was Jake’s dick. She felt better.

Peel. _“I honestly don’t this time.”_ She wondered how to put this conversation back on track. What would Jake like with his go-with-the-flow attitude and dumb ideas? Bingo. She wrote, _“is the wheelchair fun? Have you ridden it down Football Hill like you said you would?”_ Toss.

There was a long break before the next one. Tap. The paper landed on the desk this time.

 _“ngl its p damn cool. i get out of class early so i have time to get to the elevator. i get to ride the elevator!!”_ The end of that message was written in significantly smaller script, as it was crammed into the bottom of the paper from Jake misjudging the writing space he needed. After it was written _“flip”_ with an arrow pointing to the back of the note. Chloe flipped it.

_“and i didnt get to bc a teacher caught me and rich and stopped us. :/ we finna do it after school tho”_

Peel. _“Ooo I wanna see.”_ That was a lie. She didn’t want to see. Well, actually, no. If Jake got hurt, then yes. She wanted to see. Toss.

Tap. This note had a sentence scribbled out on top. The actual note read, _“no u dont. wht’s going on with u? ur being weird”_

Chloe frowned. It had been going so well... she focused on the scribbled sentence. She could just barely make out what it said.

_“i mean ig u can come if u want”_

Chloe’s stomach swirled like goo in a lava lamp. Why had he reconsidered? Fuck, why was this so hard?

Rich knocked at the door. The teacher, who was now seated at his desk while students worked on the assignment, motioned for him to come in. This was a sure indicator that class ended in five minutes, because Jake always got out early. Every student on crutches or in a wheelchair needed a student to help carry their bags to classes, and Rich was assigned to help Jake.

Rich passed her desk and greeted Jake, ready to escort him. Jake gave Chloe a confused look as Rich grabbed his bag for him. When he got his shit together, they rolled past her desk without looking at her. Chloe balled the note in her fist tighter, avoiding any contact.

You know what? No, this conversation wasn’t over.

Checking to see that the teacher wasn’t paying attention, she shoved her shit in her backpack and made her escape. It was five minutes. Nobody would notice.

Rich and Jake hadn’t gotten very far. She jogged up the empty hallway to catch them.

“Jake-“ she started.

Rich jumped and let out a super unmanly startled scream. “The fuck!? Why are you here?”

“I left class.”

“Wh- you can’t just leave!”

“I just did.”

“Are you ok Chloe?” Jake asked.

The question almost froze her. When was the last time she’d been asked that? When did someone care enough to ask her that? Not that Jake cared all that much— he was probably just weirded out.

“Yeah, Jake said you were being weird,” Rich added.

Was she ok?

No. She was feeling guilty. Guilt didn’t feel good. Guilt was confusing. Confusion didn’t feel good either. She was feeling too much. She shouldn’t be concerned with other people like this. She was supposed to act cold as to not get hurt. And it wasn’t supposed to bother her. Yet here she was feeling like shit over hurting people that cared about her.

But why would they care about her if she was a bitch?

“Nobody likes me.”

She spoke the realization out loud, her tone more of shock than of sadness.

The hallway got very quiet instantly. The three of them stopped walking dead in the middle of the hallway.

A part of Chloe waited for the robotic reassurance that always came after she made relatable edgy self deprecating remarks that she didn’t mean. But this one she did mean. Still, she waited for the, “people do like you, Chlo! Are you kidding?”

It didn’t come.

It didn’t come because they didn’t care. She was right.

And fuck, that stung.

Fuck it. She already had the ball rolling. Might as well just dump everything to these two boys who could care less about her problems. She began, staring straight ahead.

“Like, people only pretend to care because they’re scared of me, I guess. But they don’t. And being feared is supposed to feel good. But I really have no friends, I guess.” As she spoke, more things clicked into place. She took a breath and continued, “Having the squips align our desires, or whatever trip we were on... it made me realize that I’m really a bitch. Like, I never thought the shitty things I said would matter this much to people.” God, why was she tearing up? “But they do! And I...”

She turned her head to the boys. Rich’s gaze was far off, and Chloe wasn’t sure he was even listening at this point. She wouldn’t be, honestly. Jake seemed focused though.

“And I... I’m lonely,” she finished.

And that was it. She was lonely. The most popular girl at school and yet she was the most alone out of everyone.

She shrugged fully with her arms, letting them drop and loosely hit her legs. “So... yeah.”

There was a long moment.

“Me too,” Jake said.

“What?”

“I mean... I realized the same thing I guess? That I’m... kinda an asshole?” He shook his head, “and I have friends,” he gestured to Rich, “but I’ve still hurt a lot of people. And that’s really not cool.”

“Really?” Of course. Jake got squipped too. If anything, they were all probably realizing things about themselves. Still, the fact that someone had had a similar realization specifically to her was comforting almost.

“Yeah. Really.” Was he blushing?

Chloe realized that that emotional spill didn’t explain her behavior.

“I was... trying to be nice with the notes,” she explained. That didn’t sound quite right... “I mean... I was trying to apologize. Y’know. Trying to find a nicer way to say, ‘sorry for being a bitch and almost having sex on your parents’ bed and being a bad girlfriend when we were dating.’”

Jake took a moment to process. Then he grinned and cackled. Chloe found herself smiling despite herself. A tear ran down her cheek, though she wasn’t sure if it was out of sadness or relief. Either way, she quickly wiped it away before Jake pointed it out. She hadn’t really been vulnerable like this for a long time, so who could blame her?

“Sorry, that just sounded funny,” Jake snorted. Then his gaze softened and his smile warmed, “I forgive you.”

“You do?” She needed the validation.

“Yeah.” He looked away from her a moment, thinking. He turned back, “You are kinda really a bitch so, yeah. No excuse there,” he bit his lip before continuing, “But Halloween was so shitty and a mess and honestly you having sex on my parents’ bed is the least of my worries. And I wasn’t exactly the best boyfriend either. I haven’t been with anyone. So I’m sorry too,” he sighed, “we’re even.”

Shaking like a leaf, a couple more tears escaped. Someone didn’t resent her! She smiled and nodded. “Thanks.”

As silence settled again, Chloe shifted her focus to Rich, who was still looking past her. He was frowning and his eyes seemed heavy as he was lost in thought. Before Chloe could ask what was up with him, he blinked awake, having noticed her. He took a moment, looking between her and Jake, who was also twisted in his chair looking at him.

Finally, “Yeah.” His voice was softer than Chloe had ever heard it, “Yeah. Uh... yeah. Just...” he cleared his throat, “ditto. But like...” mouth open, it almost seemed like he was going to go on a similar rant that Chloe had just done. But then he shook his head and simply said another, “yeah.”

Jake was regarding him thoughtfully. He probably knew what was up.

Although he obviously didn’t want to talk about whatever was up, Chloe still asked, “Yeah? What do you mean yeah?”

“Uh, just...” Rich and Jake exchanged a guarded look, one that Chloe obviously wasn’t meant to decipher, “Just... yeah. Let’s just say I’ve done a lot of bad stuff too. So, yeah.”

And that was that. Chloe wasn’t going to press anymore, but one glare from Jake squashed any questions she might’ve said anyways.

The air grew heavy.

“I love therapy groups,” Chloe said.

And for some fucking reason that must have been the best joke ever, because the tension broke and they all broke out laughing. It was the first time Chloe had had a long true laugh in a while. One that made her sides ache and her knees go weak.

Through the laughter, Jake said, “Being popular is soooo hard,” in a mock whiny voice. One that was familiar to Chloe, because she used it whenever she was bitching. This made it ten times funnier to her.

Rich whined along, “losers are soooo lucky!”

Chloe had to lean on the handle bars of Jake’s wheelchair for support in her laughing fit.

It took them a moment to come down from their nonsense giggles.

“I don’t know about you guys,” Rich said, breathing labored, “but I feel woke.”

“Me too.” Jake smiled. Then, “no, but seriously. I’ve kinda been,” he hesitated, “super anxious about this. Ever since the squip. And I’ve been trying to be better.”

Again, seeking any kind of validation or comfort at this point, Chloe asked, “is it hard?”

He mulled it over. “At first, yeah. It still is but not as much.”

“I’ve been trying too,” Rich butted in, “really hard,” he added under his breath.

And then a bizarre thought came to Chloe. Would it be weird? Very. But it was comforting to her, and funny.

“Hey,” she began her suggestion, “we should start like a club where we reform ourselves into non-assholes.”

Jake’s brow furrowed in thought. “Wait. I actually don’t hate that idea.”

“I like it! What do we call ourselves?” Rich grinned

“You’re being serious?” Chloe snorted. Really, so was she, but she was still amazed they were taking it seriously.

“Yeah!” Jake agreed.

Chloe hummed. What would they call themselves?

... Oh. Obviously that.

“Let’s call it, ‘Project: Sorry We Fucked Up.’”

“YES.” Rich and Jake agreed in unison.

“Tight.” Chloe grinned. What the fuck was going on even?

The bell rung. Shit. Jake was gonna be late to class.

Rich and Jake realized the same thing, straightening up.

“Shit,” Jake muttered, “Rich, push me into class and say I fell down the stairs.”

Chloe scoffed, “What the fuck, that will never work-“

Rich had already grabbed the handle bars, “got it.” Then he pushed and slowly built up into a run, making kids coming out of classrooms jump out of the way.

“Bye Chloe!” Jake called to her from down the hall. At this rate Jake probably would fall down the stairs.

Jake’s “wheeeeee!”’s faded away. Chloe found herself still smiling.

Maybe she did have friends.

She managed to get to English with ease (it was super close to the social studies room) and slid in her chair. She checked her phone out of habit, and was surprised to find a text from an unidentifiable number.

“light speed motherfucker”

Was this Jake?

“yo it’s Jake btw. I never deleted ur contact after we broke up lol”

Figures.

She texted back, “are you already in class?”

“no”

So he was still texting her while barreling down the hallway. Cool.

Another message from him, “yo do u wanna come to see me roll down football hill after school?”

She smiled even though nobody could see. Smiling for herself. What a concept.

Without second thought, she texted back “absolutely.”

The project was in motion.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
